An examination of conscience is a prayerful, honest look at one's thoughts, words, deeds and omissions in the light of God's law, made before receiving the Sacrament of Penance. The Church has always rooted it in the Ten Commandments, read through the Gospel and the teaching of the Church, because the Commandments name the ways we fail in love of God and of neighbour. It is not a scrupulous audit: the aim is to know the sins one must confess, to be sorry for them, and to see where grace is asking for growth. Work through each commandment below; the questions are prompts, not a checklist to be completed in full.

What you need

• Ten to fifteen unhurried minutes, ideally in a church or a quiet room
• Something to note what you find, if your memory needs it
• A confession time to go to afterward, so the examination leads somewhere

When to pray it

Before every confession; briefly each night as part of a daily examen; and more carefully before Christmas and Easter. Those preparing for Holy Communion after a mortal sin must examine themselves and confess first.

Steps

1. 1

   Step 1: Begin with prayer

   Make the Sign of the Cross▾ and ask for light: 'Come, Holy Spirit▾, show me my sins as you see them, give me true sorrow for them, and the courage to confess them.' The Prayer to the Holy Spirit may be used. Remember that you are examining yourself before a Father who already knows everything and still wants you home. Then take the Commandments in order.

2. 2

   Step 2: I am the Lord your God; you shall not have strange gods before me

   Have I loved God above all things, or have I let work, money, comfort, a relationship, an addiction or my own image take his place? Have I neglected prayer for days or weeks? Have I doubted or denied the faith, or been ashamed to profess it? Have I despaired of God's mercy, or presumed on it while planning to sin? Have I taken part in superstition, fortune telling, horoscopes, spiritualism or occult practices? Have I received Holy Communion in a state of mortal sin, or knowingly made a bad confession?

3. 3

   Step 3: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain

   Have I used the name of God or of Jesus carelessly, in anger, or as a curse? Have I blasphemed, or spoken with contempt of God, of his Mother, of the saints or of holy things? Have I sworn a false oath, or broken a vow or a promise made to God? Have I spoken of the Church and her sacraments with mockery?

4. 4

   Step 4: Remember to keep holy the Lord's day

   Have I missed Mass on a Sunday or a holy day of obligation through my own fault, without a serious reason such as illness or the care of the sick? Have I come habitually late, or left early without need? Have I been inattentive or irreverent at Mass? Have I done unnecessary work on Sunday, or required it of others, and failed to make it a day of rest, worship and family? Have I kept the days of fast and abstinence the Church asks of me?

5. 5

   Step 5: Honour your father and your mother

   Have I respected, obeyed and cared for my parents, especially if they are elderly or ill? As a parent, have I provided for my children's needs, prayed with them, taught them the faith and corrected them with love? Have I neglected or abandoned my family duties? Have I shown due respect to teachers, employers and lawful civil authority, and fulfilled my duties as a citizen? Have I fostered division or resentment at home?

6. 6

   Step 6: You shall not kill

   Have I harmed anyone in body or in spirit? Have I had, procured, paid for or encouraged an abortion, or taken part in euthanasia or assisted suicide? Have I harboured anger, hatred or the desire for revenge, or refused to forgive? Have I insulted, bullied or humiliated another? Have I given scandal, leading someone else into sin? Have I abused alcohol or drugs, driven recklessly, or neglected my own health? Have I been indifferent to the poor, the sick or the lonely whom I could have helped?

7. 7

   Step 7: You shall not commit adultery

   Have I been chaste according to my state in life? Have I committed adultery, or engaged in sexual relations outside marriage? Have I used pornography, or masturbated? Have I used contraception, or been sterilised without grave medical cause? Have I dressed, spoken or acted in ways meant to arouse lust in others? In marriage, have I treated my spouse as an object rather than a person, or refused the gift of self without a real reason?

8. 8

   Step 8: You shall not steal

   Have I taken what is not mine, at work, from a shop, from the state, from family? Have I cheated on taxes, exams, contracts or benefits, or failed to pay debts and wages I owe? Have I damaged or wasted the property of others, or used my employer's time and resources dishonestly? Have I made restitution for what I have stolen or damaged? Have I been stingy with the poor and with the Church, or greedy in business? Have I wasted the goods of creation?

9. 9

   Step 9: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour

   Have I lied, and has a lie of mine harmed anyone? Have I gossiped, revealing another's faults without need (detraction), or spread things I knew to be false (calumny)? Have I judged others rashly, or ruined a reputation? Have I flattered, or kept silent when I should have defended the truth or an innocent person? Have I broken a confidence or a professional secret? Have I been sincere with my confessor and with those I love?

10. 10

    Step 10: You shall not covet your neighbour's wife

    Have I deliberately entertained impure thoughts or fantasies, or looked at another person with lust? Have I fed my imagination with films, books, images or conversations that inflame it? Have I guarded my eyes and my heart, or let a wrongful attachment to someone grow, whether or not it led to action?

11. 11

    Step 11: You shall not covet your neighbour's goods

    Have I been envious of what others have: their money, their success, their gifts, their family? Have I been greedy, always wanting more, or discontented with what God has given me? Have I let anxiety about possessions crowd out trust in his providence? Have I measured people by their wealth or status?

12. 12

    Step 12: The precepts of the Church

    Finally, check the minimum the Church asks of all her members: to attend Mass on Sundays and holy days of obligation; to confess my sins at least once a year; to receive Holy Communion at least during the Easter season; to observe the days of fasting and abstinence; and to help provide for the needs of the Church according to my means. Have I kept them? Where I have not, is there a mortal sin to confess, or a habit to change?

13. 13

    Step 13: Be sorry, resolve to change, and pray the Act of Contrition

    Looking over what you have found, ask God for true sorrow: not mainly fear of punishment, but grief at having offended the One who loves you. Decide on one concrete thing you will change, with his grace. Then pray the Act of Contrition▾ slowly, meaning every word: 'O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee...'. Bring to the priest every mortal sin you have found, by kind and number as best you can, and whatever venial sins trouble you most. Nothing you say will surprise him, and nothing leaves the confessional.

Tips

• Begin with the Holy Spirit, not with yourself. Self-knowledge is his gift, and he gives it gently.
• Distinguish mortal from venial sin: mortal sin needs grave matter, full knowledge and deliberate consent, all three. When in doubt, ask the priest rather than deciding alone.
• If you have been away a long time, the questions cover the whole period since your last confession, but you need only confess what you actually remember.
• Do not linger over the past once it has been confessed. God has forgotten it; you may too.

Related practices

• Ignatian Examen