Jesus loved children and told his disciples to let them come to him. Confession is one of the ways he still does, and a child needs only a child's examination: a few honest questions about God, about family and friends, and about himself or herself, asked in the child's own words. This guide follows the shape of the examination the United States bishops publish for children. A parent or catechist can read it aloud with a young child, pausing after each question; an older child can use it alone.

What you need

• A quiet few minutes, at home the night before or in the pew before confession
• The Act of Contrition, learned by heart or on a card in simple words
• A parent or catechist to read the questions with a younger child

When to pray it

Before first confession and before each confession afterward; a shorter version can be prayed each night before bed as a habit of asking Jesus for forgiveness.

Steps

1. 1

   Step 1: Get quiet and ask Jesus to help

   Make the Sign of the Cross▾. Sit or kneel still for a moment and say in your own words: 'Jesus, help me remember the times I did not love you or other people the way I should. Help me be sorry, and help me do better.' Then think back over the time since your last confession, or, if this is your first, over the last little while.

2. 2

   Step 2: My responsibilities to God

   Have I prayed every day, in the morning and at night? Have I prayed with my family? Have I gone to Mass on Sunday, and paid attention there, or have I complained and been moody about going? Have I used God's name or Jesus' name in a bad way? When I was tempted to do something wrong, did I ask God to help me do what is right?

3. 3

   Step 3: My responsibilities to my family

   Have I obeyed my parents, and the people who take care of me? Have I talked back, been rude, or sulked when I did not get my way? Have I lied to my parents? Have I been selfish or unkind to my brothers and sisters? Have I done my chores and my homework? Have I shown my family that I love them?

4. 4

   Step 4: My responsibilities to friends and others

   Have I been kind to other children, or have I made fun of them, called them names, or left someone out? Have I hit anyone, or lost my temper? Have I told lies, cheated, or taken something that was not mine? If I took something, did I give it back? Have I used bad words? Have I forgiven the people who hurt me, or am I still holding a grudge?

5. 5

   Step 5: My responsibilities to myself

   Have I taken care of the body and the mind God gave me: eating, sleeping and playing sensibly, and staying away from things that are bad for me? Have I been honest with myself about what I have done, or have I made excuses? Have I been grateful for what I have, or jealous of what others have? Have I tried to be brave and do the right thing even when it was hard?

6. 6

   Step 6: Being sorry

   Now think about the things you found. Tell Jesus you are sorry, not only because you might get into trouble, but because he loves you and sin hurts him and other people. Choose one thing you will try hard to do better this week. Ask him to help you, because you cannot do it on your own, and he does not expect you to.

7. 7

   Step 7: Telling Jesus through the priest

   When you go into the confessional, make the Sign of the Cross▾ and say: 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. This is my first confession' (or: 'It has been [a month] since my last confession'). Then tell Father your sins simply: 'I lied to my mom two times. I was mean to my brother. I did not say my prayers.' When you finish, say: 'I am sorry for these and all my sins.' Father will talk with you and give you a penance. Then pray the Act of Contrition▾: 'O my God, I am sorry for my sins with all my heart. In choosing to do wrong and failing to do good, I have sinned against you whom I should love above all things. I firmly intend, with your help, to do penance, to sin no more, and to avoid whatever leads me to sin. Our Saviour Jesus Christ suffered and died for us. In his name, my God, have mercy. Amen.' Father will say the words that forgive your sins; answer 'Amen', say 'Thank you, Father', and go do your penance.

Tips

• Keep it short. Three or four honest sins are plenty; a child does not need a long list.
• Explain the difference between a sin and a mistake: forgetting your homework is not a sin; lying about it is.
• Praise the child for honesty rather than reacting to what is confessed. What is said in the confessional stays there.
• Practise the words to say to the priest at home so the room holds no surprises.