A Confirmation sponsor presents the candidate to the bishop and, in the words of canon 892, takes care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ and faithfully fulfills the obligations inherent in the sacrament. It is a real office in the Church, not a seat of honor, and it continues long after the day. If you have been asked, someone thinks your faith is worth imitating. This guide tells you what the Church requires of you, what you will do in the rite, and how to be a sponsor for life.

What you need

• A sponsor certificate or letter from your own parish, requested as soon as you accept
• A recent Confession and Sunday Mass with the candidate in mind
• The date, time and any rehearsal the candidate's parish has scheduled
• The candidate's Confirmation name, so you can pray to that saint for him or her

When to pray it

From the day you accept, through the preparation, on the day itself, and for as long as you live. A daily Hail Mary or Our Father for your candidate is a good measure.

Steps

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   Step 1: Check that you meet the requirements

   Canon 893 applies to a Confirmation sponsor the same requirements as for a baptismal godparent. You must be chosen by the parents (or by the one to be baptized) and have the aptitude and intention for the role; be at least sixteen years old, unless the diocesan bishop has set another age or the pastor or minister judges a just exception should be made; be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has received Holy Communion, and who leads a life in harmony with the faith and with the role being undertaken; not be under any canonical penalty; and not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized. 'A life in harmony with the faith' means in practice a Catholic who attends Sunday Mass, whose marriage (if married) is recognized by the Church, and who can honestly promise to help the candidate live as a Catholic. If you cannot meet these, tell the candidate kindly and at once; the parish will help find someone who can.

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   Step 2: Prepare yourself

   Request the sponsor certificate from your parish office as soon as you accept; it can take a week or two. Go to Confession in the weeks before the celebration, and come to the Mass ready to receive Holy Communion. If the candidate's parish holds a session or rehearsal for sponsors, attend it. Read over the renewal of baptismal promises so that you can answer with the candidates, and pray Veni Creator Spiritus▾ or the Prayer to the Holy Spirit for your candidate each day beforehand. Learn the candidate's Confirmation saint and ask that saint's prayers as well.

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   Step 3: The rite: your hand on the candidate's shoulder

   Sit or stand with your candidate as the parish directs. After the homily the candidates renew their baptismal promises and the bishop, with the priests, extends his hands over them and prays for the gifts of the Spirit. Then the candidates come forward one by one. You come with your candidate and place your right hand on his or her right shoulder; in some dioceses the sponsor also gives the candidate's Confirmation name to the bishop. The bishop anoints the candidate's forehead with chrism, saying, 'N., be sealed with the Gift of the Holy Spirit,' the candidate answers, 'Amen,' and to 'Peace be with you' answers, 'And with your spirit.' Then you both return to your places. That is the whole of your part; do it with recollection.

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   Step 4: Pray for your candidate

   The first and lasting duty of a sponsor is prayer. Put your candidate's name into your daily prayers and keep it there: an Our Father▾ or Hail Mary▾ each day, a Mass offered for him or her on the anniversary of Confirmation, the Prayer to the Holy Spirit at moments you know are hard for the young person (exams, a move, a loss). Tell your candidate that you pray for him or her daily; it may be the thing he or she remembers longest.

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   Step 5: Stay in touch

   Mark the anniversary of the Confirmation and the feast of the candidate's saint each year with a card, a message or a visit. Keep the relationship warm enough that your candidate would call you with a question about the faith, or about anything. Invite him or her to Mass when you are together, to a parish event, to a retreat. In the years after Confirmation many young people stop practicing; a sponsor who remains present without pressure or reproach is often the reason they come back.

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   Step 6: Model the faith

   Canon 892 asks you to take care that the confirmed person behaves as a true witness of Christ; the most effective way to do that is to be one. Keep Sunday Mass, go to Confession, pray, serve, speak of the faith naturally and without embarrassment, and let your candidate see how you handle failure, doubt and suffering as a Christian. You cannot give what you do not have, and you will give more than you know by simply living as a confirmed Catholic in front of someone who is watching.

Tips

• If you are the candidate's baptismal godparent, you are the Church's first choice for sponsor (canon 893 §2); say yes if you can.
• Dress and behave on the day as someone presenting a young Christian to the bishop; the candidate will follow your lead.
• The hand on the shoulder is your one physical task in the rite; watch the sponsor ahead of you if you are unsure of the moment.
• Your candidate may drift in the years after Confirmation. Keep praying and keep in touch; the office does not end when the practice lapses.