A godparent is not an honorary title given to a favorite relative or a way of thanking a friend. In the rite of Baptism the godparents speak with the parents for the child, promise to help the parents in their duty, and take on, in the Church's own words, the task of helping the baptized to lead a Christian life in keeping with Baptism. Choosing well is a gift to your child that lasts a lifetime. This guide gives the requirements the Church sets in canons 872 to 874 and some practical wisdom for choosing among the people who meet them.

What you need

• A short list of practicing Catholics you trust with your child's faith
• Canons 872 to 874 of the Code of Canon Law (summarized below)
• A conversation with the person you are asking, well before the Baptism date

When to pray it

As soon as you begin planning the Baptism, ideally during the pregnancy. Godparents need time to say yes freely and to get a sponsor certificate from their own parish.

Steps

1. 1

   Step 1: Understand what a godparent is

   Canon 872 says that, as far as possible, a person to be baptized is given a sponsor who, for an infant, presents the child for Baptism together with the parents and helps the baptized lead a Christian life in keeping with Baptism and to fulfill faithfully the obligations inherent in it. The Catechism adds that godparents must be firm believers, able and ready to help the newly baptized on the road of Christian life, and that their task is a truly ecclesial function. In short: a godparent is a companion in faith for life, chosen by the parents but acting in the name of the Church.

2. 2

   Step 2: Check the requirements of canon law

   Canon 874 sets the requirements. A godparent must be chosen by the parents (or by the one to be baptized) and have the aptitude and intention for the role; be at least sixteen years old, unless the diocesan bishop has set another age or the pastor or minister judges a just exception should be made; be a Catholic who has been confirmed and has received Holy Communion, and who leads a life in harmony with the faith and with the role being undertaken; not be under any canonical penalty; and not be the father or mother of the one to be baptized. 'Leads a life in harmony with the faith' means, in practice, a Catholic who goes to Mass on Sundays, is not living in a situation contrary to the Church's teaching (for example, a Catholic married outside the Church without a convalidation), and can honestly make the baptismal promises. The parish may ask a godparent to confirm these things in writing.

3. 3

   Step 3: Decide on one or two, and about a Christian witness

   Canon 873 allows one godparent (a man or a woman) or two, one godfather and one godmother; the Church does not permit two of the same sex or more than two. Canon 874 §2 adds that a baptized person who belongs to a non-Catholic ecclesial community may be admitted only together with a Catholic sponsor, and only as a witness of the Baptism, not as a godparent. An Orthodox Christian may, under the Church's ecumenical guidance, act as a godparent together with a Catholic godparent; ask the parish. A person who has not been baptized cannot serve in either role, since he or she cannot profess the faith the rite asks for.

4. 4

   Step 4: Ask early, and ask plainly

   Speak to the person in good time, before the date is fixed if possible. Say what you are asking: to promise before the Church to help you raise this child as a Catholic, to be present at the Baptism, and to keep praying for and staying close to the child afterward. Give the person freedom to say no; a godparent who accepts out of politeness will not do what the rite asks. If the person lives far away, that need not exclude them, but ask honestly whether the relationship will survive the distance.

5. 5

   Step 5: Ask for the sponsor certificate

   Most parishes in the United States ask each godparent to bring a sponsor certificate or a letter from his or her own parish, signed by the pastor or his delegate, stating that the godparent is a registered, practicing Catholic who has been confirmed and is free to take on the role. The godparent requests it from the parish office, sometimes in person; some parishes ask the godparent to be registered there for a period first. Tell your godparents about this as soon as they accept, so the letter arrives before the Baptism.

6. 6

   Step 6: Remember that it is a lifelong role

   The godparent's name is entered in the baptismal register beside the child's and stays there permanently. Canon 893 says it is desirable that the same person later serve as the child's Confirmation sponsor, so that the unity of the two sacraments is clear. Choose, then, with the next sixteen years in view: someone who will remember the baptismal anniversary and the child's name-day, who will pray for the child, who could be called upon in hard years, and whose own life gives the child something to imitate. Pray about the choice before you make it.

Tips

• The requirements are the floor, not the ceiling. Ask yourself who would actually pray for this child, bring him or her to Mass if you could not, and talk about the faith in twenty years.
• A grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin or family friend can all be godparents; only the child's own parents cannot.
• If a beloved friend is a baptized non-Catholic, he or she may stand as a Christian witness alongside a Catholic godparent; someone who is not baptized cannot take either role.
• Do not choose someone to pressure them back to the practice of the faith. A godparent who does not practice cannot promise what the rite asks.