Confession is the sacrament in which Christ, through the ministry of a priest, forgives the sins committed after Baptism and restores us to friendship with God and with the Church. Nothing is required of you except honesty, sorrow and the will to change; the priest does the rest, and he is bound by an absolute seal never to reveal anything he hears. The whole celebration usually takes five to ten minutes. This guide walks through the ordinary form of the sacrament, one penitent with one priest, as it is celebrated in every Catholic parish.

What you need

• The confession times of a parish near you (the bulletin or website), or an appointment with a priest
• Fifteen quiet minutes beforehand for an examination of conscience — see the Examination of Conscience guide
• The Act of Contrition, memorised or on a card; most confessionals also have it printed
• Optionally a short written list of what you want to confess (take it home or destroy it afterward)

When to pray it

Whenever you are aware of a mortal sin, before receiving Holy Communion; and by precept at least once a year. Many Catholics go monthly, and before the great feasts of Christmas and Easter. Every parish keeps regular times, most often Saturday afternoon.

Steps

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   Step 1: Examine your conscience

   Before you go, spend ten or fifteen minutes asking the Holy Spirit to show you your sins, and then look over your life since your last confession in the light of the Ten Commandments, the Beatitudes and the precepts of the Church. Note every mortal sin (a grave matter, done with full knowledge and deliberate consent), and the venial sins that most weigh on you. The Examination of Conscience guide on this site walks through the Commandments one by one.

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   Step 2: Be sorry and resolve to change

   Contrition, sorrow for sin together with the resolve not to sin again, is the heart of the sacrament. Ask God for it: sorrow because sin offends him who is all good and deserving of all our love, not merely because you fear the consequences. Decide concretely what you will avoid or change, including the people, places or habits that lead you into sin. Perfection is not required; a sincere intention is.

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   Step 3: Go at the parish's time, and choose the screen or face to face

   Find the confession times in the parish bulletin or online, or ask a priest for an appointment. Confessionals offer a screen for anonymity and usually a chair for face-to-face confession; either is entirely your choice. Wait your turn in prayer. When you enter, kneel behind the screen or sit facing the priest.

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   Step 4: Begin with the Sign of the Cross and the opening words

   Make the Sign of the Cross▾. The priest may greet you and say: 'May God, who has enlightened every heart, help you to know your sins and trust in his mercy.' Answer: 'Amen.' Then say: 'Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been [two weeks, six months, many years] since my last confession.' If it helps, add a word about your state in life ('I am married with three children', 'I am a college student'), so the priest can counsel you well.

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   Step 5: Confess your sins by kind and number

   Simply and plainly name your sins: 'I lied to my employer twice. I missed Sunday Mass three times without a serious reason. I looked at pornography, about once a week.' Confess every mortal sin you are aware of after your examination, by kind and, as far as you can, by number; do not hide one out of shame, since a deliberately concealed mortal sin is not forgiven and the confession would need to be made again. You may also confess venial sins, which the Church strongly recommends. There is no need to excuse or explain at length. When you are finished, say: 'For these and all the sins of my past life, I am sorry.'

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   Step 6: Listen to the priest's counsel and accept your penance

   The priest may offer a word of encouragement or advice, and may ask a short question to understand a sin better. He will then give you a penance: usually a prayer or a small act of charity, sometimes an act of restitution. The penance is not a payment for forgiveness, which is Christ's free gift, but a first step in repairing the harm sin has done and in growing in the opposite virtue. If for some real reason you cannot do the penance he gives, tell him then and he will change it.

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   Step 7: Pray the Act of Contrition

   The priest will invite you to express your sorrow. Pray the Act of Contrition▾ aloud: 'O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, who art all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin. Amen.' Any sincere prayer of sorrow is acceptable; the Rite of Penance offers several forms, and the priest can prompt you if you lose your place.

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   Step 8: Receive absolution

   The priest extends his hands over you and prays the words of absolution: 'God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.' Make the Sign of the Cross▾ with him as he says the last words, and answer: 'Amen.' At that moment every sin you have confessed, and every sin you have honestly forgotten, is forgiven. The priest may then say: 'Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.' Answer: 'His mercy endures for ever.' And he dismisses you: 'The Lord has freed you from your sins. Go in peace.'

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   Step 9: Do your penance and give thanks

   Leave the confessional and, unless it is an act to be done later, complete your penance at once in a pew, before you forget it. Then stay a few moments to thank God: an Our Father▾, a Glory Be▾, or simply your own words. If you had been away from Communion because of mortal sin, you may now receive again. Leave the church free, and try to keep the resolution you made.

Tips

• If it has been a long time, say so at the start. The priest will lead you through everything; you do not need to know the form by heart.
• You may confess anonymously behind a screen or face to face; both are always your choice and both are the sacrament in full.
• Confess mortal sins by kind and, as best you can, by number ('three times', 'about once a week'). The priest may ask a brief question to understand; he is not there to interrogate.
• If you honestly forget a sin, it is forgiven with the rest. Simply mention it the next time you go.