A Catholic is bound to marry according to the Church's form: before a bishop, priest or deacon and two witnesses. A Catholic who married only civilly, or in another church without a dispensation, is therefore not yet validly married in the eyes of the Church, whatever the state says, and cannot receive Holy Communion until the situation is set right. Convalidation is the Church's remedy: the couple, now free and willing, give their consent before the Church's minister, and from that moment a true and sacramental marriage exists. It is a common request in every parish, handled with kindness, and it is usually simpler than couples fear.

What you need

• A meeting with the parish priest or deacon, who will explain the process in your case
• A recent baptismal certificate for each Catholic party, and a baptismal record for a baptised non-Catholic if one exists
• Your civil marriage certificate
• Documents about any prior marriage of either of you: a death certificate, or a declaration of nullity from a Church tribunal
• Two witnesses for the rite, who need not be Catholic

When to pray it

Throughout the process, and above all at the rite itself, which may be a quiet weekday ceremony with family or a celebration within Mass, as the couple choose.

Steps

1. 1

   Step 1: Understand what convalidation is

   Canon 1108 requires that a Catholic marry before the local ordinary, the pastor, or a priest or deacon delegated by them, and before two witnesses; a marriage attempted otherwise, without a dispensation, is invalid. Canons 1156 to 1160 provide for its convalidation: the party or parties who gave defective consent, or who were bound by the form, renew their consent according to the canonical form, and the marriage is valid from that moment, not retroactively. Because the consent is new, the Church treats it as what it is, a real celebration of Matrimony, and the couple are married sacramentally from the day of the rite.

Tips

• Convalidation is not 'blessing' an existing marriage. It is the moment the marriage comes into being before God; treat it with the seriousness of a wedding, however small.
• Nothing about your civil marriage changes: you keep your names, your licence and your legal status. The Church adds the sacrament.
• If your spouse is reluctant, tell the priest. He can explain what is being asked, and there is a further remedy, radical sanation, that the diocese can consider in some cases.
• Do not stay away from the parish out of embarrassment. Priests receive this request constantly and are glad of it.

Related saints

• Saint Joseph