November opens with two days that belong together. On 1 November the Church keeps the Solemnity of All Saints, honouring in one feast the whole company of heaven, the canonised and the countless unknown; in the United States it is a holy day of obligation. On 2 November, the Commemoration of All the Faithful Departed, she turns to the dead who are still being purified, and prays for them; on that day every priest may celebrate Mass three times. Around the two days the Church has attached her indulgences — a plenary indulgence, applicable only to the souls in purgatory, for visiting a cemetery and praying for the dead on each day from 1 to 8 November, and for visiting a church on All Souls' Day and praying the Our Father and the Creed — so that the communion of saints becomes something the living actually do: they go to the graves, and they pray.

What you need

• The Mass times for All Saints, and a note of whether the obligation binds this year
• The names of your own dead, written down, to be prayed for by name
• A plan to visit a cemetery between 1 and 8 November, with flowers or a candle if you wish
• For the indulgence: confession within a few days, Communion, and prayer for the Pope's intentions

When to pray it

1 November (All Saints) and 2 November (All Souls), with cemetery visits any day from 1 to 8 November; the whole of November is traditionally devoted to the Holy Souls, and the Eternal Rest prayer belongs to every day of it.

Steps

1. 1

   Step 1: Keep All Saints as a holy day

   Go to Mass on 1 November, the Solemnity of All Saints. It is a holy day of obligation in the United States, though when it falls on a Saturday or a Monday the obligation to attend is abrogated by the bishops' 1991 decision, and the solemnity is kept without the precept. The Mass honours the multitude no one can count from the vision of Revelation 7, and its Gospel is the Beatitudes: the saints are those who lived them. Pray the Te Deum▾ in thanksgiving, and remember your own patrons, your confirmation saint, and the saints of your family; the vigil of the feast, All Hallows' Eve, is best kept by looking forward to it. This is a feast of joy, not of mourning — that comes tomorrow.

2. 2

   Step 2: Pray for the dead on All Souls

   On 2 November the Church prays for all the faithful departed. Go to Mass if you can; it is not a day of obligation, but it is the day on which the whole Church prays for the dead, and priests may offer three Masses that day. Pray for your own dead by name — parents, grandparents, friends, those who died this year, and those no one remembers — with the Church's prayer: 'Eternal rest▾ grant unto them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace. Amen.' Psalm 130▾, the De Profundis▾ — 'Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord' — is the Church's ancient psalm for the dead, and this is its day. Light a candle at home before the names of your dead, and keep it burning through the evening.

3. 3

   Step 3: Visit a cemetery between 1 and 8 November

   On any day from 1 to 8 November, visit a cemetery and pray, even silently, for the dead; the Church's Manual of Indulgences grants a plenary indulgence, applicable only to the souls in purgatory, for this visit on each of those days, and a partial indulgence on any other day of the year. Go to the graves of your own family if you can, bringing flowers or a candle as is the custom; if they are buried far away, any Catholic cemetery, or any cemetery, will do, and you pray for those buried there and for your own dead together. At the grave, pray the Eternal Rest▾, an Our Father▾ and a Hail Mary▾, and bless the grave with holy water if you have brought some. It is a short visit that the dead cannot make for themselves.

4. 4

   Step 4: Have Mass offered for the dead

   The greatest prayer for the dead is the Mass. Ask the parish to offer a Mass for a deceased person by name — a small stipend is customary — or enrol your dead in the parish's November book of remembrance, for whom the Masses of the month are offered; many parishes provide All Souls envelopes for the names. The guide 'How to Pray for the Dead' explains the practice more fully. Attend the Mass if you can, and offer your Communion for them: the Church has always taught that the Eucharist offered for the dead helps them, and All Souls' Day is the day she does it most deliberately.

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   Step 5: Fulfil the conditions of the indulgence

   A plenary indulgence, whether from the cemetery visit or from the All Souls' Day church visit with the Our Father▾ and the Creed, requires more than the work itself: sacramental confession within about twenty days before or after, Holy Communion, prayer for the intentions of the Holy Father — an Our Father▾ and a Hail Mary▾ suffice — and complete detachment from all sin, even venial. One confession may serve for several plenary indulgences, but a separate Communion and a separate prayer for the Pope are needed for each, and only one plenary indulgence can be gained per day. The guide 'How to Gain a Plenary Indulgence' sets out the conditions step by step. In November, the indulgence may be applied only to the dead, which is exactly its point: the living do the work, and someone in purgatory receives the gift.

6. 6

   Step 6: Pray the Litany of the Saints

   Some time in the two days, pray the Litany of the Saints▾ — the Church's oldest litany, sung at the Easter Vigil, at ordinations and at the bedside of the dying. A leader calls each saint by name, 'Holy Mary, Mother of God,' 'Saint Michael,' 'Saint Peter and Saint Paul,' and all answer 'pray for us'; the petitions follow, 'Lord, be merciful — Lord, deliver us, we pray,' and it closes with prayer. On All Saints it is the roll-call of the feast; on All Souls it calls the whole court of heaven to pray with us for the dead. Add your own patron saints where the litany allows, and let the children hear their confirmation saints named.

7. 7

   Step 7: Keep the whole month for the Holy Souls

   The two days open a month. Throughout November, pray daily for the dead: the Eternal Rest▾ at the end of grace after meals, a decade of the Rosary offered for the Holy Souls, the De Profundis▾ on Friday evenings, and the names of the dead kept somewhere visible in the prayer corner. Have Masses offered, visit the graves again, and teach the family that praying for the dead is a work of mercy — the Catechism counts it among them — and one that the dead will one day return. The month ends with the Solemnity of Christ the King and the first Sunday of Advent, which is right: we pray for the dead because we believe that he is coming, and that they and we will rise.

Tips

• When 1 November falls on a Saturday or a Monday, the obligation to attend Mass is lifted in the United States, though the solemnity is still kept; check the parish bulletin.
• The cemetery indulgence can be gained once each day from 1 to 8 November, so eight visits could be offered for eight different people — but the conditions of confession, Communion and prayer for the Pope apply to each.
• Take children to the graves. Nothing teaches the communion of saints better than praying by name for a grandparent at the place where their body rests.
• Enrol your dead in the parish's November list, or bring an All Souls envelope: the Masses offered for them all month are the Church's greatest gift to the departed.