A Catholic funeral is not a celebration of a life so much as the Church's prayer for a baptised Christian who has died, offered in the hope of the resurrection. The Order of Christian Funerals, the Church's book for these rites, sets out three moments: the Vigil for the Deceased, the Funeral Liturgy (ordinarily a Mass), and the Rite of Committal at the grave or the place of entombment. The parish will guide you through all of it; this guide tells you what to expect and what to decide, so that the choices can be made calmly and in faith.

What you need

• The parish's phone number; the funeral home will usually contact the parish, but a call from the family helps
• A few facts the parish will ask for: the person's full name, date of death, parish of Baptism if known, and whether they wished to be buried or cremated
• The Order of Christian Funerals readings list, which the parish will give you, to choose the Scripture readings
• Names of family and friends willing to read, to bring up the gifts, and to serve as pallbearers

When to pray it

The vigil is usually held the evening before the funeral; the Funeral Mass on a weekday morning or Saturday; the committal immediately after the Mass. Funeral Masses are not celebrated on Sundays, on holy days of obligation, on Holy Thursday, or during the Easter Triduum.

Steps

1. 1

   Step 1: Contact the parish

   As soon as you can after the death, call the parish, ideally the parish the deceased belonged to; a Catholic is entitled to a funeral from the Church and the parish will find a way even for someone who had drifted from practice. The funeral home will coordinate dates, but the parish sets the time of Mass, assigns the priest or deacon, and provides a planning sheet with the readings and music. Tell them if the person was to be cremated and whether the remains will be present at the Mass. If the family is far from the deceased's parish, any Catholic parish may celebrate the funeral with the pastor's consent.

Tips

• Let the priest or deacon lead. He has done this many times and knows what comforts a grieving family and what the rite provides.
• Choose readings and hymns that speak of Christ's death and resurrection; the parish musician will help find sacred music that suits, and secular songs belong at the reception rather than in church.
• If a Mass is not possible, the Funeral Liturgy outside Mass is a full Catholic funeral, led by a priest or deacon with the same readings, prayers and final commendation.
• Remember the days after. A Mass on the month's mind and on the anniversary, and All Souls' Day each November, continue the prayer the funeral began.

Related devotions

• Devotion to the Holy Souls in Purgatory