Jesus gave thanks before he broke bread, at the feeding of the five thousand and at the Last Supper, and the first Christians did the same. Grace at meals is the simplest of all family prayers: a few words that turn a table into a place where God is remembered and thanked. The Catechism lists the blessing of meals among the moments the Christian tradition sets aside for prayer, and the Directory on Popular Piety counts it among the devotions that sanctify daily life.

What you need

• The two short prayers, learned by heart
• A moment of quiet before the food is touched
• One person to begin, so that everyone starts together

When to pray it

Before and after every meal eaten together, at home or away, and before a meal eaten alone. The blessing before the meal is the one most families keep; the thanksgiving after is worth restoring.

Steps

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   Step 1: Why we bless the table

   Grace is an act of faith that everything on the table comes from God, and an act of thanksgiving for it. It does not change the food; it changes the eaters. Saying it together also makes the meal a shared prayer, the first liturgy a child ever takes part in. Wait until everyone is seated and the serving has paused, so that grace is not something muttered while the food is being passed.

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   Step 2: Grace before meals

   Make the Sign of the Cross▾, then pray: 'Bless us, O Lord, and these thy gifts, which we are about to receive from thy bounty, through Christ our Lord. Amen.' End with the Sign of the Cross▾. That is the whole prayer. Some families add a short intention — 'and bless those who prepared this food' or 'and remember those who are hungry' — before the Amen.

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   Step 3: Grace after meals

   When the meal ends and before the table is cleared, pray: 'We give thee thanks for all thy benefits, O almighty God, who livest and reignest world without end. Amen.' Then add the prayer for the dead that has always accompanied it: 'May the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.' Make the Sign of the Cross▾. If it is hard to gather everyone at the end of a meal, say it while people are still seated with the last of their food.

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   Step 4: With children

   Children learn grace by hearing it every day and being asked to lead it. Begin with the Sign of the Cross▾, which a toddler can make; then let a small child say a one-line grace, 'Thank you, God, for our food. Amen,' until the traditional words come. Let older children take turns leading the full grace and choosing an intention. A child who has led grace at home is not shy about praying anywhere.

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   Step 5: In restaurants and in public

   Grace in public is a quiet witness, not a performance. Say it in a normal, lowered voice with the Sign of the Cross▾, exactly as at home; there is no need either to hide it or to announce it. If you are eating with people who would be uncomfortable, a silent grace with a discreet Sign of the Cross▾ is still grace. Eating alone, bless the food as you always do; the habit is what keeps the prayer alive.

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   Step 6: On Sundays and feast days

   On Sundays, on the great feasts and at family celebrations, grace can be lengthened a little: a verse of Scripture, a psalm, or the seasonal blessings the United States bishops publish in Catholic Household Blessings and Prayers, which give meal prayers for Advent, Christmas, Lent and Easter. In Easter Time an 'Alleluia' may be added, and at Christmas dinner the family may bless the table with the Gloria's opening words, 'Glory to God in the highest.' Keep the prayer short enough that it never becomes a reason to skip it.

Tips

• Hold hands or fold them, and let one person lead; when everyone knows the words, take turns leading, including the youngest.
• Grace can be sung; many families keep a sung grace for Sundays.
• If a guest at the table is not Catholic, pray as you always do without fuss. A short grace embarrasses no one, and many are moved by it.
• On fast days, grace before a smaller meal is a natural moment to remember those who have no meal at all.