The Lord's own procedure is the rule: "If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone" (Matthew 18:15). Before you speak, ask three questions and answer them honestly. Is it true — do you know, or have you heard? Is it yours to say — have you the relationship, the standing or the responsibility? Is now the time — is the person able to hear it, and are you free of anger? Pray for the person first, and examine your own conscience on the same point; correction offered by someone who has not looked at himself lands as contempt. Then speak privately, briefly, and about the act rather than the character. Say what you saw, not what you concluded about their soul. Leave them their dignity and their freedom, and be genuinely ready to be wrong. If a private word fails and the matter is grave, the Lord's next steps are to bring one or two others, and then those with responsibility (Matthew 18:16-17). Never correct in public, in writing, or in front of a third party who does not need to be there — and never let "concern" become the retelling of another's faults, which is detraction and is itself a sin against charity.

Gaudete et Exsultate treats the sins of the tongue at length, warning that gossip and defamation destroy the communion the Beatitudes create; Fratelli Tutti places honest, charitable speech within the wider recovery of social friendship.

Mercy

The common practice of the whole Church

As charity and responsibility require

mercy